WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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