Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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