Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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