She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
