so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
All I want is dick and wine.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
