He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
farters have to be the big spoon...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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