it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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