i just google imaged poop.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
