Having a random hookup so left but love u
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
