WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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