oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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