I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
