i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
