allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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