She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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