you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
