i barfeds in our rink
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
