whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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