Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
