I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
