I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So vagazzling was a success
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
