Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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