Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't think brook has ever known best
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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