Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
