that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
