You're earring is so big in my mouth
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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