Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
