so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
