it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
