I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
