ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
