Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
