It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
