me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
