i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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