At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
