Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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