its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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