he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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