we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hippo gnu deer
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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