I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
