Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
