um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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