What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
