Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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