Sponge bath it is.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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