I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
