woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
