You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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