I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
