I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
