No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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