Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
