The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
