Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
