i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
