The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
