I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
