i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
