I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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