Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
