Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
