Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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