physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
