4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize