are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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