coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
