She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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