so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
