should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
