found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
