Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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