Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
