Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
