I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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