Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
