It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize