These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
