Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
