1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
