Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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